A place to find healing
Trauma coaching with Steve Smith
A very warm welcome to Hear2Heal.
I am a professionally trained trauma coach with over 30 years’ experience walking alongside people through mentoring, pastoral care, training and leadership. My own journey deeply shapes my approach.
I’m so glad that you are here. I hope what follows brings you encouragement and perhaps leads to us meeting together.
This may be the place for you if you are looking for answers.
You may have read the books, tried therapy, learned about trauma, or discovered that ADHD or autism explains part of your experience. Perhaps you’re grieving, struggling in relationships, exhausted or simply wondering why the same painful patterns keep repeating.
Support that helps you understand what is happening underneath.
HEAR2HEAL offers trauma coaching, couples coaching and neurodivergence-aware support for adults in Coventry and online across the UK.
Trauma coaching
Support for anxiety, shame, people-pleasing, perfectionism, survival responses, boundaries and recurring patterns.
Couples coaching
Understanding recurring conflict, shame cycles, communication, boundaries, codependency, enmeshment and repair.
ADHD, autism & relationships
A neurodivergence-aware approach for differences in communication, overwhelm, regulation and relationships.
Distress in our nervous system can show itself through anxiety, physical symptoms, difficult emotions and unhelpful habits. Feeling safe — internally and externally — is crucial to our wellbeing and affects us more than we often appreciate.
Our nervous system is constantly alert to signs of danger — both inside us and around us, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.
My approach is based on science, compassion, excellent tools and brings real freedom.
Every week, I work alongside people, many of whom have struggled for as long as they can remember and feel they have tried everything.
As they learn to listen to their bodies, they begin to understand. As understanding grows, so does compassion. From compassion comes hope, validation and the possibility of real change.
Here are just a few things people have said about working with me:
You understand a lot. But something still keeps happening.
Anxiety. Relationship difficulties. Neurodivergence. Grief. Loneliness. Burnout. People-pleasing. Perfectionism. Shutdown. Isolation. Shame. Overthinking. Fear of rejection. Repeating relationship patterns.
There are tools and strategies that can help with all of these.
But often they are signs of a nervous system desperately trying to find safety.
When we experience physical pain, our nervous system draws our attention to an area so that we can respond, address the issue and recover.
Perhaps the symptoms above deserve the same curiosity and attention.
We often do not realise the loads we are carrying.
Our brains are wired to avoid pain. When we have a tooth ache some of us can think, “I really need to go to the dentist ... but I don't want to go (due to the pain or cost)!”
There can be this little battle inside us. Sometimes moving towards what we have been avoiding can be worth the discomfort. The thing that can often put people off booking is: “I tried this, it was painful, I know all about the cause, but I don't have a solution.”
Change can begin when we make a choice to act and find an approach that works for us.
Healing begins with attention, not condemnation.
We don’t write off a car because a warning light comes on.
If we break a leg, we don’t say, “Leg, you’re so stupid!”
We give it the attention it needs.
What if your symptoms are trying to tell you something?
A saying widely attributed to Carl Jung says:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
I had no idea of the impact an idea like this could have on me. I know people say these things to try and sell a product…but I really mean it.
I had been living in survival mode and wearing masks for so long that it felt like reality.
When “healthy” has never been your normal, you simply get on with life! It was only when things became painful enough for me that I started looking for answers.
There is a saying: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Well, that had been me for many years.
So, I took a course about trauma that is stored in the body. When I first heard this I was less than pessimistic. But someone close to me encouraged me and I was desperate…no, we were desperate! I was polite and attended and long story short….I cannot believe I didn’t do this earlier!
The words above became real for me — and it changed my world. We had tried everything. Many of those things had value. But they did not address what was really going on underneath.
Research on trauma, the nervous system and the body supports the idea that processes outside our conscious awareness shape how we feel and respond.
This understanding opens up a very different way of thinking and living.
Rather than fighting our symptoms, prodding and poking them, or treating them as the enemy, we slow down and begin building a relationship with ourselves and what our bodies are trying to tell us.
Curiosity can change the conversation we have with ourselves.
As we begin to understand our parts — anger, hopelessness, isolation and others — we can start to see that many of them are trying to protect us from further pain.
Unfortunately, when these patterns are left unexamined, the very things trying to protect us can eventually damage our relationship with ourselves and others.
Often, a perfectly good part is simply overworked and trying to compensate.
IFS is one modality that can help us explore this.
So, we gently ask: “What is happening inside me — and what is my system trying to protect me from?”
You may already understand a great deal about yourself — your childhood, attachment patterns, ADHD, autism or previous experiences.
But knowledge, in itself, is not always the answer.
The aim is not simply to manage our symptoms. They can be pointing us towards patterns, beliefs or needs that are worth understanding.
That you feel cared for, safe and genuinely heard.
My primary concern for you? That you feel cared for, safe and genuinely heard — so we can connect, understand what is really going on, and explore together how coaching can be most helpful for you.
Someone once offered me that safe space, and it led to an unbelievable transformation.
I am personally motivated because this work brought change that I thought was out of my grasp.
40 years of trying to be free of something teaches you one thing - it is hopeless!
But every day I am grateful — even as I write this.
That is why I now do this work — because I know what it is like to believe change is out of reach…. and what it feels like to discover that it really isn’t.
We do not simply fight the behaviour. We become curious about what is underneath.
We are not simply trying to stop unwanted behaviours or manage symptoms. We slow things down, understand what your nervous system and protective patterns are trying to do, create greater safety, and then work practically towards change.
How we work together
Each session is yours.
My role is to support you, listen carefully and if needed, help you make sense of what is happening. We go at your pace, with empathy, validation and care.
There may be times when you simply need more care, support and space to breathe. At other times, you may feel ready to go deeper and explore what is underneath.
You do not have to arrive ready to talk about everything. We begin wherever you are.
There is no fixing, labelling or judging.
Creating safety
My suggestion is that we begin with safety — both internal and external. This naturally comes to the forefront.
So we begin by looking at simple but effective ways of helping your nervous system settle and creating more safety in everyday life.
That may include rest, self-care, emotional regulation, boundaries, unmet needs, present-day pressures and understanding what helps your system feel more secure.
Understanding what may be getting in the way
Sometimes there are invisible strings pulling on us from the past.
We may struggle with self-rejection, find self-compassion difficult or notice patterns that seem to work against us.
Together, we can gently explore what may be making life harder — including unmet needs, boundaries, enmeshment, codependency, emotional regulation or other pressures.
Going deeper when you are ready
As we work together, you may begin to notice patterns, beliefs or emotional responses that have been there for a long time.
When it feels right, we can gently look at what may be sitting underneath and begin to understand why certain patterns developed.
The aim is not to judge or fight these parts of ourselves, but to approach them with curiosity, understanding and compassion.
Without realising it, we can live by values and beliefs that have helped keep us safe for years, but which, in the light of day, may no longer be true or helpful.
The same painful conversation does not have to keep repeating.
Couples can find themselves having the same painful conversation. The shame cycle spins, leaving us feeling misunderstood, defensive, hurt and disconnected.
Using the same approach as above, we can slow things down and begin to see the patterns underneath.
When both people are willing, new patterns can begin to bring different results. The reality is that we can often have two very different versions of the same situation. This can pull us into the painful trap of codependency and enmeshment.
Our focus begins to move from “What is happening?” towards “Why is this happening?” — while allowing the other person the freedom to be who they are.
When we begin to understand the shame, fear, pain or guilt shaping the relationship, without condemning ourselves or each other, things that once felt impossible can begin to feel possible.
There are practical, research-informed tools around conflict, communication, boundaries, codependency, enmeshment and repair that help create a safer and healthier home life.
If you have been searching for couples counselling or couples therapy, coaching may offer a different kind of support. My work is not counselling or psychotherapy, but it can help couples slow down, understand recurring patterns and work practically towards healthier communication, boundaries and connection.
For lasting change, we also need to understand the ‘why’.
More than 30 years of close relationships, alongside extensive cross-cultural experience, has taught me plenty about listening, differences and staying connected.
Different values, communication styles and neurotypes can add another layer of misunderstanding — but when we understand where the other person is coming from, they can also bring real richness.
I bring both personal and professional cross-cultural experience.
I grew up between cultures and spent 18 years living and working overseas in six very different countries, so I approach each person’s world with curiosity rather than assumption.
Support shaped by culture, relationships and real-world experience.
Alongside trauma coaching and couples work, I offer support in several areas that reflect my own background and experience. I also work online with clients internationally. Read about international coaching.
Cross-cultural relationships
For couples navigating different cultures, family expectations, values, communication styles, faith backgrounds or ways of seeing the world.
Marriage preparation
Practical, honest preparation for couples who want to talk well before marriage about communication, conflict, expectations, boundaries, family, values and connection.
Healthier workplaces
Workshops and team tools around communication, boundaries, emotional awareness, conflict, psychological safety and healthier working relationships.
Steve Smith
Trauma Coach & Facilitator
Experience shaped by people, cultures and real life.
For more than 30 years I have walked alongside people through mentoring, training, pastoral care and community leadership.
I grew up between cultures and spent 18 years living and working overseas in six different countries, including eight years in Cambodia, where I helped build community projects, develop local leaders and work closely with people from very different cultural backgrounds.
I have coached people from Africa, China, the Middle East, Europe, North America and Australasia, and I work online with clients across different countries and cultures.
Experience and training
I completed over 237 hours of structured learning, shadowing, supervision and peer development through Tim Fletcher Co.’s LIFT and COMPASS Coach & Facilitator pathway.
I continue my professional development with Tim Fletcher Co. through supervised coaching and group facilitation, ongoing training, supervision and feedback.
I am a member of EMCC UK and EMCC Global, and I am also studying towards becoming a counsellor.
My background also includes relationship education, safeguarding and supporting people with long-term health challenges.
Real words from people I have worked with.
We simply start with a conversation.
This is something I have experienced personally. I know what it is like to live in survival mode, and I know what it is like to begin finding another way.
I would love to invite you on that journey too — towards more freedom, healthier relationships, greater self-trust and a life that feels less like survival and more like living.
Our first conversation is simply a chance to meet.
You can tell me a little about what brought you here and what you would like support with.
You don’t need to prepare a polished account of your life.
If we decide to continue, we agree together what you would like from coaching and review that as we go.
Some sessions may be reflective. Others may be practical.
Where helpful, we may agree on something simple to notice, practise or explore between sessions so that what we discover begins to become part of everyday life.
And if I believe another kind of support would serve you better, I will tell you.
Individual coaching
60 minutes
Four sessions — £320
£80 each
Couples coaching
75 minutes
Four sessions — £440
£110 each
Part of the proceeds will go towards making support easier to access for people who may not otherwise have the opportunity. We also plan to create accessible online workshops so that more people can benefit from this support.
You are welcome to book one session at a time.
If cost is a genuine barrier, please ask about a limited number of reduced-fee places.
I am also developing accessible wellbeing workshops, including Meet Your Nervous System.
Sessions are online. I work with people in the UK and can discuss arrangements with people living elsewhere.
Your enquiry and coaching conversations are confidential, subject to safeguarding and legal obligations, which I will explain before we begin.
A clear boundary
HEAR2HEAL offers coaching and education, not counselling, psychotherapy, diagnosis, medical treatment or crisis support.
I use IFS-informed ideas within coaching; I do not offer IFS psychotherapy.
We can discuss whether coaching is appropriate for you, including when it may sit alongside therapy.
I work within my training, supervision and safeguarding responsibilities and will suggest specialist support when that is what you need.